The Cello's Tears
by disillusioned
(Music, 1413 views) - 9/11/05
(recorded 9/11/05 @ 2:19:59 AM)
Every once in awhile, I'll find myself utterly depressed. I'll read something new or old, I'll give something a second thought, and I'll just find myself a slave to my own decline.

It's ironic, because of how positively I was describing my relative disposition last night, and that still holds true: I'm really quite happy in general.

But right now is one of those times when I just feel an utter lacking—a gaping hole, and I breathe as slowly as possible in the hopes that it won't hurt so, just for a few moments.

The best therapy for this problem I could think of is a simple song. I've listened to Damien Rice's Delicate more times than I care to count. It's amazing how much meaning a cello can impart on you, how it can help fill you up when it's accompanied by impassioned vocals that blend just right.

This is truly a sad song, but right now, it's the best thing in the world. I listen to this track and for a brief moment, I'm transported to a place where I'm alright and where someone else feels the exact same way. And that makes it okay, in its own strange way. This song has a way of telling me everything will be alright, if I give it enough time. It echoes the hardest to listen to advice from so many perfectly close friends who know, or hope, better than I, about what the future might hold.
And it has nothing to do with its words.

Listen to this song. (Click here to download it, please.) Listen to the first time the cello comes in and tell me that you don't feel the bow drawing against your insides, pulling on the worst parts of you that you could possibly be feeling at the moment. It brings them to the surface and it hides them in its folds.

I've never heard a sadder strings part, and that's just utterly critical here. This is the sound a cello makes when it cries. And for but a moment, it feels amazing to have something else break just like you, just like that.

Previous musing: Happy Birthday, Ashleigh!
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