One should be measured by their reasoncount...
(Deep Thoughts, 3240 views) - 11/4/04
(recorded 11/4/04 @ 10:20:31 PM)
In life, everyone looks to quantify, to gauge themselves. We all compete, privately or obviously with others. We look to the girl sitting to the right of us in our Chem class and secretly hope that she missed a few more points than you- but not too many more, because we used her answer for number 26. It was D. But then she erased D. We didn't see that part, did we?
There are so many different ways to measure your performance. You can look at your IQ. You can examine and scrutinize the scores you received on your SAT and ACT tests. You can compare and contrast your GPA with your fellow students. You can look at the amount of weight you've lost. You can look at how many miles you can run. How much sleep you get. How many friends you have. How many people like you. How many people hate you. How well known you are. How people perceive you in general. How your dog perceives you when you come home.
We all do it, and there's nothing wrong with this. If you can't examine how you're doing, if you can't track your progress, watch your successes, attempt to avoid, or at least learn from, failures- if you can't do all of those things, you'll be stuck in the mud, wheels spinning, boring all of us, and worst of all, boring yourself. Even more interesting is that a great deal of us are okay with that. Kudos to you, but we'll save the discussion surrounding that concept for another musing.
Moving on to the bigger picture... I propose that the only count that matters- the only quantification worth the numbers you express it in is a reasoncount.
What is a reasoncount? How many times were you the reason somebody laughed? How many times were you the reason a single, white tear rolled down someone's cheek?
How many times were you the reason someone's heart fluttered, and gave them butterflies? How many times, how many droplets of blood has someone shed where the reason was you? How many days, hours, months has someone changed their appearance, changed their ideals, changed their personality, stood perfectly still, moved from city to city- how many times were you the reason for that in someone else's life?
We woefully underestimate the importance we have on other people. To me, this is the only thing worth anything. It is the only count that matters. You can have all the money in the world, but what does that matter if you haven't been somebody's reason for something positive? I think that a reasoncount could very well operate on a similar premise to karma, but I don't want to place it in that same basket. Karma has an implicit premeditation or expectation of the outcome, and rewards or punishes you accordingly. With my reasoncount, there is no such direct reward nor a punishment- and more shocking, oftentimes it may increase or decrease without you ever knowing.
How many times were you the reason someone cried themselves to sleep and never told you? How many times were you the reason someone pulled the gun away from their temple, and only smiled at you sheepishly the next day?
This may not be revolutionary at all. It's just a perspective I thought of earlier this evening. You are the reason for so many things. And if you're not, then maybe you're not trying hard enough. But maybe, and probably, you're just not being made aware of all the feelings, actions, tears, laughter and everything else that you're the reason of. Embrace the concept of being someone's reason to do positive things or to think positively- it's so much more rewarding and fulfilling than anything else out there. But expect to hurt even those closest to you along the way, and be hurt by them as well.
In the end, you just have to rely on the math, and hope that the difference works out in your favor.
What's *your* reasoncount?
Previous musing: A year of growth, discovery, booze, women, villany, and ninjaness...
Next musing: Happy Birthday, Chrismiss!!!
|Back to disillusioned's Notebook :: Back to the Musings|
|<-- Log in to leave a note, or create an account, if you don't already have one|