When darkness finds its way to you, can you imagine me there?
by disillusioned
(Deep Thoughts, 1778 views) - 10/13/04
(recorded 10/13/04 @ 1:59:15 AM)
It's dark and cold in my room. In a few moments, I'll be laying in my bed, in the pitch black, wondering how I got to where I am, and how much there is I want to work out. And then, just as I drift off to sleep, I'll let my mind wander its way over to how it felt- the greatest moment available to my recollection that involved sleep...

There's something about sleeping in the same bed as someone you love that is absoultely and completely different than sleeping alone. Obviously, you have less room. But that's the least of your concerns. For me, there wasn't anything more comforting than knowing that the way I felt deep inside me was being reflected back by the person I was sharing that moment with. When you can stop for a moment and listen to them breathe, and wonder what they're thinking or dreaming of... and then find yourself blissfully whisked into the most comfortable slumber you could ever ask for.

Go ahead and describe it- the best night's sleep you've ever gotten. Or simply, for those of you who've experienced what I described, second that claim.

For now, I'll find myself dreaming of that shortly.
Previous musing: An underlying constant...
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The only time I ever remember getting to sleep next to someone I loved, he was drunk. He smelled like vodka and at first he didn't really recognize me. It was 4:00am on a Sunday morning, and I had driven two hours to sneak into his room and under his covers and I lay there for a few minutes just holding him. He was so warm, and I knew it was from the alcohol, but it made me feel safe.

When Evan lived in the condo, and I lived on the couch, I spent a lot of nights in his bed. He probably doesn't remember that, in an automatonlike reaction, I would curl up next to him. I could hear him breath and feel the warmth of his body. It wasn't sexual; I didn't pretend that is was. I just know that I slept better every night when he was there.

There's something about another person laying peacfully beside you that makes the darkness beautiful. I could never be scared, or hurt, or upset when I had someone to lay beside and dream with.

   [enlite (J :: M) 10/13/04 3:32 AM]

Napping is the way to go. Jamie and I have taken lots of naps together. On chairs, sofas, beds. It really doesn't matter where. But napping....

When I am napping with Jamie, I find that I wake up every once in a while and just look at her. It makes me smile, then I kiss her and cuddle up close to her again, then fade back into sleep.

And I get to do that every so often for as long as we nap. It feels wonderful. So warm, comfortable. Just knowing that you love that person and that she loves you back and that you are together.

Mmmm.... What a wonderful thing.

   [bondservant (J) 10/13/04 5:03 AM]

It is a wonderful thing. I agree completely. There is nothing like waking up to the sight of the one you love being right there, with his body pressed close to my own. And we are are dreaming together without speaking. It is such a comfort, such a feeling of security, I suppose. The moments when I stir into consciousness to see his face are the some of the best.

   [Esperando (J :: M) 10/13/04 8:14 AM]

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