spiritual formation paper
by *Stellina
(601 views) - 10/25/03
(recorded 10/25/03 @ 7:46:59 AM)

“Jesus, why am I here; why did I have to leave Italy and everyone I love?” I have been asking this question for almost five months now, but I have not heard an answer yet. I long to go home, yet there is something inside of me that is telling me to hold on. I have been hurting so much. I have been so confused about why I am here in America.
I have been struggling with the thought of just giving up and going back to Italy. There is a constant battle going on inside of me. I want to give up and leave, but the Holy Spirit wants me to stay and see what God is going to do in my life. When I read the chapter called A Life of Endurance, from The Life You’ve Always Wanted, it really spoke to me. John Ortberg wrote about how a marathon is easy and pleasurable at the beginning (p. 208). Yet the joy of running does not last long, it begins to become difficult. I have reached this point in my race. The fun is gone, and I’m barely hanging on. I have come to realize that I just have to run the race one step at a time, although I just want to do it all in one bound.
I am here for a purpose, and if I just rush through my days I will miss what God is trying to teach me. He is taking me through a process to make me the woman He wants me to be. I wish I could just skip the process, but I cannot. I need to persevere. I am encouraged that I am not doing this alone; Jesus is by my side giving me the strength I need to make it through each new day. With Him I can run my race because He is guiding me and pushing me forward.
I know that with Jesus I can do anything and everything. I am not going to give up and go back to Italy before He wants me to. One thing I have learned is that Jesus is here even in the storm. He is beside me and He is comforting me. He sees me when I am lonely. He knows my thoughts; nothing goes past Him. He has sent me here so that I may grow in and rely only on Him. Holding Jesus’ hand I will make it through the storm and finish the race that I started.
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