buffy can suck it.
by flower maiden deux
(2103 views) - 12/18/08
(recorded 12/18/08 @ 4:41:49 AM)
i used to torture myself with "buffy the vampire slayer" just to get to the goods; angel, cordelia, wesley. i even grew to hate willow, with her wanton lesbianism and new status as "evil". you're 98 pounds with a bad hair cut and mousy features, no one is afraid. you see, i center on willow, because if i were to try and go into detail of the reasons and ways i hate buffy, we'd be here for days. nonetheless, producers seemed to sense my overbearing pain and agitation and gave me my own personal show; angel. full of david boreanez, and charisma carpenter (so aptly named, i'm curious if it spawns from a chat with a judge) and wesley. (who, yes, inevitably becomes a twat. they all do.) i was just enjoying an episode of angel, in the wee hours of the morning as i haven't attempted to sleep, and low and behold what hideous creature should maim my scene in the middle of it? buffy summers. (you might've just tried a little less and named her miss buffy stereotypical-all-american-girl) mind you, this episode is filled with heated drama, mournful (yet loveable) speeches, and enough sexual tension between angel and faith to make you squirm in your seat. now, we all know that buffy's a dirty hoe - but the bitch, (who, remember, has gone through a series of boyfriends and has settled with one whom she professes love) comes in the middle of this awesome scene, where you're fairly certain snogging betwixt the duo (angel & faith) will ensue. alas, the entertainingly flat chested blonde appears, and has the gumption to get cheeky with angel! "do you know what she did to me!" she berates. "yeah, i do." he replies cooly, and oh how the daggers fly from eyeballs. she actually gets in his face about how he's "wronging" her, and she "can't believe him!" gasp! he what? hugged faith! that whore! and you, saintly, profound, righteous buffy! all you did was completely replace him and put out to a few random males in the process. but clearly, angels to blame, and you have every right to throw your 'i'm a hurt female' weight around. no one is judging you. you dirty haired trollop.

more importantly, there's a scene (which is truly akin to orgasmic with the euphoria is bestows) where buffys out to kick the crap out of faith, angel stops her, and she turns around and waylays 'em, to which (bite you tongue!) he returns the favor, knocking her stupid for .3 seconds. i cheered! and nearly threw my phone across the room doing so. naturally she's aghast - "you hit me!" (durh) "well, not to go grade school here; but you hit me first, and you're stronger than me. (something about the schematics of her being a vampire slayer and him, a vampire) so she's on super dumb-bitch-pout-patrol, emotionally wounded about angel hitting her. "i was worried about you! you were in danger!" she claims. "i'm in danger every day," he states, rather matter-of-fact. the underlying tone here would be; "you just now decided to show? i know you're here because of faith, you simple-minded-skeeze." at least, that's what it seemed like to me.

in any case, i don't think there's a person i can't stand more in the collection of characters both shows offer. there has never been a time where buffy spoke, or joked or deadpanned or any of the things actresses do that make you think "they're worth my time". as a matter of fact, the more she opens her snaggle toothed maw, it makes me want to punch her in the face to shut it.
but, it's nothing serious; just an early morning rant.
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