Too lazy to give this a title. (really)
by enlite
(595 views) - 10/19/05
(recorded 10/19/05 @ 8:15:35 PM)
I made an unsettling realization last night.

I did something that I could possibly be embarrassed about, if I were talking to the right person. Not a big deal. I would tell my really close friends, and I'd gladly tell my students or perfect strangers because it would make me seem "bad ass", but Evan asked me, and I didn't feel comfortable.

It was weird. Maybe I didn't think he'd handle it well? Or maybe I just don't feel close enough to him where I'm cool with it, but not far enough away that I just don't care. That seems more likely, and it made me realize that we just aren't that close anymore.

I mean, I told Nate. Hah, I even considered asking for his help (you know, until sense returned). But when Evan asked I felt like I was back in high school and one of those lame kids that follows you around all the time had just asked if he can come hang out with you and your real friends later, and you didn't want to just say "fuck no" but you sure as hell didn't want to say "okay"... not good times.

I'm getting anxious to not live in the apartment anymore. It's too early for that to be a good thing.
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